THINKING OF YOU
You left so long ago and yet I still think of you just as much as I did when you were in my life.
Isn’t that strange? Perhaps the only way I can cope with the loss is to pretend…. To make believe you are still with me, even though it’s only in my thoughts. When funny things happen in my day, I imagine telling you about them. I picture you laughing and what you would say. When problems arise and I need support, I visualize talking them through with you. I try to think what advice you would give me and follow it, even though it’s probably just you being there for me and listening that I miss more than the advice. You’re still such a big part of my life – every day. Everything I do, every decision I make is to try to be the kind of person I think you’d be proud of. I know I should be doing these things for myself to make myself proud. I know I should forget about you like you forgot about me and I shouldn’t care what you’d think or say if you were here….. But I’m not strong enough yet, and I don’t want to fall into a negative cycle…. So for now I try to be the best possible version of myself and pretend that you’d still care…
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